A little while back I was low. The kind of low that makes you believe you're never going to feel good again. The kind of low that feels dark and lonely. Hopeless. Sometimes life's circumstances can just make you feel lost.
And so I prayed. And worshipped. Read my Bible and talked through my honest feelings with some trusted friends. I did the things I tell other people to do when they bring their darkness to me. Stuff that really just sounds like "churchy" responses to pain. Even when I didn't FEEL like doing those things. I CHOSE them. It didn't come easily. Shoot - I love Jesus and they STILL felt like hard choices. Our emotions are legit fierce. And deceptive. Let's be real.
I can't say the gloom just miraculously lifted but time has passed and it's better now. Much better.
I learned something valuable about God in those days though. While He didn't immediately allow the shadows to shift or cause the sources of my affliction to change - in those hard choice *churchified* response filled moments - He met me. He reminded me through prayer that He was there WITH me. IN the darkness. HE is the light in whom "there is no darkness." HE walks beside us through the "shadow of death." HE helps me not to "lie to myself", (which come on girls, is SO easy to do.)
Those "churchy" answers? They are supernatural answers. When your emotions want to rage, feed the Spirit.
Christians can talk about having the "peace that surpasses all understanding", but sometimes we just have to battle for it. True story. We have to make choices to trust Him even when our emotions want us to rage against Him. This is what I know for sure...God is good. This world is not. People disappoint and situations change. Learn to discern the difference. Tune your ear to hear HIS voice over the world's. There IS light at the end of this journey. There is hope. His Presence is real. Sister, no matter what - press in to Him! Keep going! Peace will come....💕
"Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions.
I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by your regulations.
I cling to your laws. Lord, don’t let me be put to shame!"
Psalm 119:29-31 NLT